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Why do I get bored when I’m with my partner?

Updated: Mar 19, 2022

When feeling bored with our partner, it’s common to feel like something is wrong. Many of us may even ask ourselves if we still love that significant other. But even if the answer is “yes”, we still have those occasional days when we don’t have anything to do, or we don’t want to do anything. Particularly during an unprecedented situation like the pandemic lockdown, boredom is the order of the day.

But does that really mean that you don’t love each other anymore? Or is there a way to deal with this kind of day? Being bored has nothing to do with love! In this article, I will explain what it means when you get bored together and how you can manage it.

Is it normal to get bored with your loved one?

First of all, don’t panic if you are feeling bored together. That doesn’t mean you don’t love each other anymore.

However, if you spend every waking moment together, it’s only natural that you’ll have times where you’ll find nothing to do or you’ll have nothing to say. Sometimes you may even feel like you want to do something but don’t know what.

If boredom generates no conflict, but instead, you take advantage of it to relax or try to find ways to manage it, then it’s perfectly normal. If those moments of boredom irritate you or your partner, then things are different.

Moments of boredom are not something you or your spouse can control. Therefore there’s no responsibility or guilt. If you get mad and blame it on your partner, there may be something else going on in your relationship.

When in a loving relationship, you should feel comfortable with your loved one even if you both have nothing to do. If something as normal and solvable as boredom gets you into fighting or anger, you should talk about it.

Or if you don't know how to begin, don't worry! There's still hope! Seek professional help like mine to overcome your issues. Not everything is lost! It’s possible to save your relationship.

For those that just get bored and want to know how to manage the situation, keep reading!

How to manage a boring time?

As we mentioned before, it’s usual that you get bored if you spent every day together. When you start feeling this boredom, it may be time for you to give each other some personal space.

In places where it’s still possible, perhaps that’s the time to go visit a friend, take that walk you’ve been longing for, call your family or do your hobby. The fact that you don’t do everything together doesn’t mean your relationship is not working.

On the contrary! You both must have your space. If you go out and have your own adventures, there’s so much more to tell and share with your partner later!

However, if you’re locked down or seeking to manage this situation together, you can do new things like:

  • Reading books: perhaps read each other your favorite books.

  • Taking a bath together: set some romantic candles and scents!

  • Giving spa treatments: this one can bring a whole world of opportunities!

  • Planning things for the future: that trip you’ve always wanted to schedule but never got the time!

  • Taking pictures: just funny faces and whatever it goes!

  • Organize a house together: we all know there’s never enough time for this!

  • Watch movies: even the bad ones can surprise you when getting bored.

  • Cooking experience: why not some banana bread?

  • Challenging each other Play games: and if you have none, you can invent one!

  • Video call friends and family together.

And I’m sure there’s much more you can do, just put a bit of imagination to it and bring as many ideas as you can; one of them must work!

What if the boredom doesn’t go away?

If nothing can help you get over the situation and you still struggle to tolerate each other, perhaps it’s time to question your relationship. Just think 30 years ahead, is that what you want for your life?

We must understand this: while love does give you butterflies, it’s also full of regular days. You can’t feel intoxicated by love all the time! And that’s a normal part of a loving relationship. So, if you just can’t find a way to get over boredom in your relationship, it may be time to move on.

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